Why & How To Remove “Right?” and “OK?” from Your Speech

Many years ago, I wrote a blog post about people saying “y’know?” at the end of a sentence. It followed the media derision which helped destroy Carolyn Kennedy’s bid to take over Hilary Clinton’s Senate seat in 2008. She was recorded saying “y’know?” 30 times in less than three minutes during a television interview; she used it 138 times in a New York Times interview. Her record was to say “y’know” four times in one sentence.

Such a verbal tic is not uncommon (along with so-called ‘filler words’ like “um”, “er” or “basically”). “Y’know” sounds like a plea to “please see it my way – because we share the same world view”.

These days, I hear many people say “Right?” or “OK?” at the end of a sentence. It is often married to ‘upspeak’ – the rise in a person’s intonation when getting to the end of a sentence, effectively putting a question-mark at the end of a declarative phrase. The general view of upspeak is that it suggests a lack of conviction. Saying “I think we should go for option B” is a clear statement; saying “I think we should go for option B?” makes the speaker sound less certain.

At best it could be perceived by the listener as a rhetorical device – a way of the speaker checking that everyone understands or agrees with what has been said.

However, many of those using it, are repeating it as often as Carolyn Kennedy. Not only is this distracting but it can be perceived as aggressive and alienating. It suggests that the audience is either too slow and stupid to understand you (so you constantly need to check in with them to ascertain that they do understand) or you’re trying to dominate them with constant declarative statements (which puts up peoples’ hackles). It also sounds competitive and aggressive.

Good news though. As with other ‘filler words’, this can be fixed if you want. Practice and record yourself presenting or having a conversation or debating with someone. Review and count the number of times you use “Right?” or whatever filler word it may be. Note if there are specific times or places when you use filler words so you can be aware of – and avoid – what triggers them. If you choose to ask a colleague or friend to help, you could ask them to clap whenever you use a filler word!

Then practice and record yourself speaking more slowly. This will often cause you to catch the word before it comes out of your mouth. Speak in short and more positive statements. Visualise the full stop at the end of your sentence and drive your energy towards that full stop. And then briefly pause – for one or two seconds (it may feel like an age when you first do this!). Practice pausing. Get comfortable with the silence. And be reassured that this is helpful to listeners, helping them to process and remember what you are saying.

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